The Perverted Adventures of Izanagi Kichiro
by Kurosuna no Kazuo
Summary: Follow the stories of the perverted Terror of the leaf village! Rated M for Violence and Heavy lemons/sexual references! Narrated by Jiraiya!


PARENTAL ADVISORY: MATURE CONTENT! The following story contains scenes of graphic violence, sexual activity, and inappropriate language. By reading this you agree that you are at least 18 years of age, or have parental or similar consent to read this story. Kurosuna no Kazuo is not responsible if you get in trouble for reading this! You were warned!

Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own this series; neither does anyone else on this site.

Author's note: Yo! Me again, writing up more of my good stuff. This is the first chapter of a series of my 2nd OC, Izanagi Kichiro. This is really more intended to be like a sitcom… with sex, a lot of sex, casual sex, too, with a lot of Kunoichi in the Hidden Leaf so if you're offended by that kind of stuff then leave. I say that because I wrote a lemon a while back and this person reviewed saying that it was terrible because the two weren't married. Personally, if you want to think that way, that's your right, but me writing this proves that I don't, so leave now or prepare to laugh, also this series takes place after Aiko and Kazuo's love story, so it's after Golden, as well, so it contains two other OCs created by her (both stories are still in progress, so go read them, you can read Golden on Devoted2charmed's profile). And one more note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAMMY-CHAN! I LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL! ONE MONTH AWAY FROM OUR FIRST ANNIVERSARY! (her birthday is January 28, go say happy birthday to her!)

-Introduction-

Why are you asking me about Izanagi Kichiro? That boy is one hell of a nutcase, to be sure, but I suppose I am just about one of the two only men who can talk about him being unbiased. To start, Izanagi Kichiro was a simple boy to start out with, he was born in the Hidden Leaf village a few years after Naruto was, and he was raised by his family of medic-nins to become one himself. No faults so far, right? Kichiro's family isn't a clan, just a very strict family of medic-nins, so one would assume there would be a lot of pressure on him by his parents. However, Kichiro always disobeyed them and rebelled against them by hiding from them, and he hid well, too, sometimes the ANBU were sent to find him. He told me about this one time he hid in the bookstore, and came across the adult section, Kichiro spent two hours browsing through pornography at age 11. He was never given "The talk" and he started peeping right the next day, his favorite target being the women's bath. Kichiro's parents would always scold him and punish him, but he wouldn't stop. Kichiro lost his virginity age 13, he didn't force the girl; what he did was take a gamble with her. The gamble was over a game of Hide and seek, if the girl won, Kichiro would give up his perverted nature indefinitely and focus on helping the village with his medic-nin skills, if Kichiro won, he would have sex with her and continue his perverted nature. Kichiro turned out to be the best seeker and an even better hider, and he lost his Virginity to Mitarashi Anko that night. Since then, Izanagi Kichiro became an addict to sex, having sex with as many women as he could, he has never gotten one pregnant and made sure of it every time. The third didn't know how to handle him, and Tsunade… Well, that can be said later on. But for now, you can look up the reports we have, and they are known as "The Perverted Adventures of Izanagi Kichiro." Women may find this disturbing, guys may end up worshipping or hating him, as for me, well, he's one hell of a guy, but he does get himself into too many things… like you'll find out once you start reading.

Jiraiya of the Sannin.

-File #1: Usagi Uzumaki-

Now normally when talking about Kichiro there are three things people must understand about him. One is that he has never trusted any man save two of them, two, he loves all forms of women, young or old, and three he is not a pedophile. Why does pedophile come into play? Simple, Kichiro loves young girls who look like they should be playing with dolls. But as I said, he is not a pedophile, he loves young girls in the sense that "I wanna hug em and give em cookies!" And most women (that I've met) would agree. No faults, right? However, his ulterior motive is to watch them grow up, and by the time they've reached 18, Kichiro will move in for the sex he was waiting for. One such case is Usagi Uzumaki, the daughter of the first Golden Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Usagi is just like her father, wild, crazy, energetic, and has a lot of heart. However, she has a lot of tendencies to cause trouble, nothing illegal, but she'll stop at nothing to get what she wants out of someone or something. Usagi encountered Kichiro as she was happily munching on a bowl of Ichiraku's finest ramen, she had already downed five by the time he entered, and when he saw her, he walked over to her, and without permission, gave her a huge hug. Naturally, Usagi hit Kichiro, hard, too, he fell over and she yelled out "Hey! What's the big idea!? Do you know who I am, mister!?" Kichiro bounced back up with a smile on his face. When speaking about Kichiro in terms of appearance, he's about 5'7, with dirty blonde colored hair, green eyes along with the standard Chuunin attire, so when Usagi saw him, she knew she wouldn't get in trouble for hitting a leaf ninja. Kichiro responded

"I'm sorry, Usagi-chan! You're just so cute I couldn't resist hugging you!" One thing everyone knows about Usagi Uzumaki: she hates being treated like a child. She may be one, but she absolutely can't stand anyone treating her like they're above her.

"I'm not a kid, so don't call me cute! And don't call me Usagi-chan! Call me Usagi! Nothing else!" Kichiro nodded as he was on his feet again

"I understand, Usagi… please forgive my rude behavior… perhaps we can talk it out over cookies?" Usagi's eyes widened as she realized who this was

"You're the one my dad calls Ero-kichi! He told me about you! How dare you do all those mean things to my aunts you big pervert! And I'm not a kid, so I don't eat cookies!" Funny side note about that nickname, Kichiro itself means lucky boy, when Naruto called him Ero-kichi, unlike when he gave me my nickname, Kichiro embraced it, Ero-kichi means Lucky pervert. Kichiro chuckled as Usagi pointed out his perverted nature and gave her this response

"Oh? I don't recall any of them complaining about it when it happened, Usagi…" Her eyes widened, there are two things Usagi hates the most, Perverts and Neji, but mostly perverts since her hatred of Neji dimmed down when Tenten stood up for him and talked to her about his nature. Usagi yelled out "Mister Chef! I'll pay you back later for the ramen, ok!?" Teuchi had no room to complain as Usagi took her flying kite and put it on

"I'm gonna teach you to mess with my family you pervert!" She fired off Kunai at Kichiro and he dodged by jumping out of the way, Kichiro responded

"Don't strain yourself, Usagi! I cry when I have to heal a cute girl who hurt herself!" Kichiro cares about women in general, his mother pounded that lesson into him as he was growing up defiantly. Usagi responded

"You mean you can't wait to get your hands on me, you pervert! And don't call me cute!" Kichiro chuckled as he heard that response "Oh, I'm not like that at all, Usagi, I really only wanted to give you cookies and milk, but if you decline, then I'm afraid I must leave for now… my offer is open at any time!" And with that, Kichiro poofed out in a cloud of smoke, leaving behind a very frustrated Usagi behind

"I'M NOT A KID, ERO-KICHI!" Kichiro heard her screams from far away and smiled wide lustfully

"Ah, so young and such a fine pair of lungs… and feisty, too… hehehe… Uzumaki Usagi… she's definitely coming on my list… once she turns 18… I'm going to have a lot of fun with her…"

"I wouldn't count on that if I were you, Ero-kichi!" Kichiro turned around and there was Naruto, in his Hokage hat and uniform, Kichiro smiled at him and said

"Ah, Naruto-kun… How have you been? Have you seen Jiraiya-sensei around?" Naruto grunted

"Ero-sennin is next on my list of heads to crack as soon as I'm done with you! I don't like it when you mess with my friends, Ero-kichi, and I always have to beat you to a pulp about it! Like hell I'm gonna let you get anywhere near my daughter with your dick intact!" Kichiro's eyes widened and he responded as if he were whining

"Oh, Naruto-kun, why must you be so cruel to him…? He's never harmed a soul!" Naruto responded

"Stop fucking around, Ero-kichi! If you get anywhere near my daughter again… I'll kill you where you stand…" Kichiro saw that Naruto was dead serious about this; he had only seen him like this one other time… just before he tried to have sex with Hinata, and Kichiro sighed and rubbed the back of his head

"Fine, fine… I won't go near your daughter without your permission, Naruto-kun… but you know me… I'll never stop fucking around…" Naruto grunted and turned his head away, took a few steps and declared this with a tone smothered in rage,

"Ero-kichi… a word of advice… it's impossible for your own country to issue your death warrant without a criminal record… but other countries can do that without a problem…" Kichiro smiled wide "Be thankful I only had sex with that blond beauty from the Sand… I've learned my lesson there, Naruto-kun…" Naruto looked away from him and leapt away, Kichiro stated

"You can come out of hiding, Sensei… Naruto-kun is gone…" I popped out of the shadows, looking at Kichiro with a look of surprise; this boy is one hell of a nutcase, after all.

"I should have known you would have riled up Naruto like that, especially if you went to talk to Usagi the way you just did." Kichiro looked at me curiously

"Really, sensei? Then I wonder why you gave me the information about her in the first place?" Jiraiya responded "Well, I need some entertainment every once in a while… that and I can't move around like you do, Kichiro."

"You taught me well, sensei… what else is there to it?" Remember when I said there were only two men that Kichiro could actually trust? You thought his father was one of them? You thought wrong. Kichiro only trusts me and Naruto. Anyway, this was just the first report taken on Izanagi Kichiro, this is a good overall view of him in a nutshell. Disturbed? Amazed? Or maybe you're just wanting his head on a platter for his actions so far. This is your final warning, if you don't want to read more on Kichiro's perverted adventures, I suggest you leave now and forget this whole experience. Otherwise, stick around and enjoy what there is to come, and if Kichiro were here, he would respond

"There's more to come and in more ways than one!"


End file.
